today's ultrasound

I had my ultrasound this morning. I got there early and was the first patient to arrive at the office. Normally, once I am taken back to the exam room, the doctor comes in almost as soon as I get myself situated on the exam table. Today, I had about a 15-minute wait to sit there, half naked and covered with a paper "blanket", alone with my thoughts. I sat on the exam table and daydreamed that Dr. Schmidt was going to come in to do the ultrasound and tell me that I had 10 big follicles and we were going to turn this into an IVF cycle. I actually got tears in my eyes, thinking about how amazing that would be. Then, reality happened. Dr. Schmidt did come in to do the ultrasound, but the news I got was worlds away from my daydream. He saw a few very small follicles on each side and one giant cyst on my right ovary. I have been experiencing a good deal of pain on my right side for the last few days, but I was hoping that the pain was a good indication of how many follicles I might have. Sadly, this is not the case. When I saw the cyst on the ultrasound, I was afraid Dr. Schmidt was going to say that this cycle would be a bust. Fortunately, he said that he wants to continue the cycle since he sees some promising follicles. One of the nurses called this afternoon with my estradiol level (85 ... not high enough) and instructions for the next few days. I have to continue the injectible meds through Monday, and I will go back on Tuesday morning for blood work and another ultrasound. If the cyst has grown much larger in size (or has ruptured, which I really hope doesn't happen), we will probably not be able to go through with IUI this cycle. Very sad.

I recently heard from a friend who shared that she and her husband struggled with infertility when trying to conceive their two beautiful girls. She told me about the Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine (CCRM), in Denver. It is supposed to be the best fertility clinic in the country. She told me that she has a friend who went to ORM (where I go) for several years, was unable to conceive, and was basically told that she and her husband were out of options. They ended up going to CCRM and now have beautiful twin girls. :) This gave me a glimmer of hope. So, I researched CCRM. They offer a phone consultation (it sounds like they get patients from all over the world) with one of their reproductive endocrinologists for $250, and then you proceed from there. I talked to Brian about this, and he didn't seem too excited. I can understand where he's coming from, but I am hoping that maybe he will think about it some more. We will be celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary in October, and we have been trying to decide on a vacation destination. Maybe we can travel to Denver for our anniversary. ;) CCRM has been on the forefront of some of the newest advances in reproductive medicine, and they have helped many couples conceive when they were previously told that there was no hope. I can't stop thinking that maybe they can help us. I probably sound like a crazy person, but I just can't stop hoping that somehow, some way, we can conceive a baby. So, I'm contemplating doing the phone consultation, just to see what they have to say. I am feeling guilty that somehow I will upset Dr. Schmidt and his nurses, but it's nothing personal. I have to believe that they have had patients go to CCRM before ... it's just getting a second opinion, right? At least it's something to think about.

That's all for now. I'm hoping that the cyst on my ovary doesn't grow or rupture this weekend (I've heard that a ruptured cyst is extremely painful), and I am willing those follicles to grow, grow, GROW!