ramblings

I got my first period when I was 10 years old. Ever since then, I have had very irregular periods accompanied by bad cramps. I spent the majority of my teenage years and a good part of my 20's taking birth control pills to regulate my periods. I always dreaded that time of the month.

Since I started going to Dr. Schmidt, I have developed a love/hate relationship with my period. For the most part, I still hate my period ... now more than ever, since it means another failed cycle. But there have been a few times during this process when I have anxiously awaited my period. This week was one of those times. After my blood test on Tuesday confirmed that I wasn't pregnant, I wanted my period to start right away. I waited and waited, and it finally started a couple hours ago. This is the beginning of a new cycle, and I am happy to have a fresh start. Of course, I am going into this new cycle hoping that this will be "the one". With each progressive cycle, I feel a little less optimistic. I guess you could call it self preservation. When I don't get my hopes up as high, they can't come crashing down as much when I don't get pregnant. Of course, no matter how hard I try to not get my hopes up, they go way up anyway. I guess that's human nature. In any event, I will see Dr. Schmidt on Monday morning for my baseline ultrasound. I will also start either the Follistim injections or the Femara pills that day. I'm guessing he will have me start with the Femara pills again, since I seemed to respond well to those last month. 

Here's to a new cycle ...