I am typing this post with tears running down my face. In the midst of one of the worst nights I've ever had at work (all three of my patients developed major issues that almost got them transferred to the ICU), my period started with a vengeance. I went in the bathroom to cry three different times during the remainder of the night at work. In the past week alone, I had three dreams that I was pregnant. They were so vivid that I even remember the details of watching the pink line appear, crying tears of joy, and calling people to tell them the amazing news.
On this week's episode of "One Born Every Minute" (an 8-episode documentary on Lifetime that was filmed at the Labor & Delivery unit in my hospital), one of the featured couples was 17 years old. They didn't plan to get pregnant, and didn't even seem very excited about having the baby. That was really hard to watch. Life is so unfair sometimes.
I have terrible cramps (so bad that they are making me nauseated), I didn't sleep well today, and I have to go back to work tonight (and rereading this blog post, I realize that I am sounding whiny and feeling sorry for myself. Ugh. I will be back on my feet again soon ... I just need to feel sad right now.). This infertility journey is the pits.
Darn it! Sending you giant hugs especially because you have to work so many nights in a row after this news and then the physical and emotional pain. If I can do anything for you please let me know.
ReplyDeleteLife isn't fair sometimes, but I have faith that somewhere out there there's a baby that will be calling you momma one day. It doesn't make right now any easier for you though.
Heating pain, advil for the cramps. Of course if the nausea gets really bad (I hate cycles like that) I have some zofran if you don't.
My sweet friend I'm thinking of you and sending you so many warm hugs.
I watch that show too. I'll tell you a funny story about episode 2 of that show when we chat sometime. My friend is a nurse manager that was stationed right across from the show headquarters.
Christi
I'm sad with you. Wish I could do or say something to make it better.
ReplyDeletelove ya girlie!!! Sending you the biggest hug ever =)
ReplyDeleteI am super bummed....and wish there was some way I can help....I always felt like this with my brother and sister-in-law too. There is nothing anyone can say, and no one knows what you are going through unless they too have gone through it. I am here for you though and sending tons of positive energy your way. Hang in there....Love you.
ReplyDeleteHi Jess, Hope you're feeling a little better....wish you didn't have to go through this sadness :( sending you lots of love and hope that one of those baby cakes will be for you really soon :):) Love ya, Wen
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