it wasn't meant to be ...

The ultrasound this morning confirmed that there is no heartbeat and there has been no growth since last week's ultrasound. There is no doubt that I have miscarried. Over the weekend, I contemplated canceling the D&C and miscarrying naturally, but that can take up to a month. I just want this to be over with, so I am having a D&C with Dr. Nash tomorrow at noon. I will be asleep for it, thank goodness. The procedure should only take a half hour or so, and then I will be in recovery for about an hour and a half. Brian is taking tomorrow off to be with me, so that will be good.

We are both incredibly sad and heartbroken. I thought 2012 was going to be our year. Now, the rest of the year will be difficult as we reach all the milestones that might have been. I was so excited for Mother's Day this year, and now I just want it to pass by. It's hard to believe this is happening. I had to call my new OB this morning to cancel my appointment, and that was very difficult. The emotional roller coaster of the last couple months is one that I would like to never repeat, although I know that if we choose to do another IVF cycle, we will have to endure this roller coaster again. For now, we are going to take time to grieve the loss of our pregnancy and try to heal.